Baby 'package' interrupts family breakfast

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By David Odongo

Ironies don’t come more stinging than what happened to an elderly man in Ukunda, South Coast several years ago.

The middle-aged family man, who is highly respected in the region having retired as a primary school headmaster after along and illustrious career, had just come from church and was taking late breakfast with his family.

Stressing the virtues of honesty, faithfulness and leading a pure life, he punctuated his fatherly advice with what the pastor had preached to his four teenage children.

“You have to focus on education because there is time for everything. Girls and boys will come later when you have degrees,” he said.

His firm lecture on morality as well as breakfast was, however, rudely interrupted by a loud knock on the door.
package

His wife, who went to open the door, got the shock of her life when a tuk-tuk driver handed her a naked newly born child in a basket and an envelope.

“I have been paid to deliver this ‘package’. Here, take this letter too. I was told it explains everything,” said the tuk-tuk driver before taking his leave.

At that stage, everybody was in shock, including the children who had come to the door to check on what was unfolding. They placed the baby who was still sleeping on the sofa.

Being the man of the house, the pensioner took charge and proceeded to open the envelope while throwing angry glances at his oldest son.

“If this relates to you and your silly girls, utaniona (you will face my wrath),” he mumbled to his son.

In the sealed envelope, however, was a letter addressed to him. As eager eyes scanned the letter before the man of the house whipped it out of sight, it became apparent that he, the paragon of virtue, had impregnated a high school girl, and then refused to take responsibility.

The girl explained in the letter drafted in poor English that she had no option, but to ‘step aside’ and let the man carry the burden, both literally and figuratively, as she had no means to take care of the baby.

By this time, the man of the house was sweating profusely. Words escaped him as his wife angrily demanded an explanation about the embarrassing saga.

Eventually, she took the baby, fed it and then went to shop for the ‘new family member’. Sources, however, told Crazy Monday that the man was ‘exiled’ for a couple of weeks while his wife adjusted to the situation.

Fortunately, she forgave him. The baby was later officially adopted and is now in nursery school.

Nowadays, the man has very little to say to his teenage sons and daughters when it comes to religious virtues. The long speeches about faithfulness, honesty and leading a pure life died a natural death.

One even suspects that each time a tuk tuk pulls up at his door, he holds his breath because as they say, once a thief, always a thief!