She is a perfect wife, but clueless in bed

I have a beautiful wife (26) and we have been married for two years. She is a perfect mum and wife and does everything well. But she has one problem – she is flat in bed. She never seems interested in sex, has never initiated it and every time we are intimate, she expects me to do everything. She always remains stiff and quiet and I don’t think she has ever had an orgasm. The interesting thing is that she doesn’t seem bothered about the issue.
 I have tried to make the sexual experience better and more romantic, in vain. I feel frustrated and I am losing interest in her. I had been with several other women before I married her and the sex was great. I need your help urgently on this. I am ready to accept criticism if you think I am part of the problem. I just want our marriage to be as blissful as the others seem to be. {Mark}Your take:
Mark, a married woman with small children cannot behave like a single girl. Child bearing brings with it major physiological and physical responsibilities which impact heavily on women. Stop being too demanding on her and help her when she is exhausted. Compared to men, women rarely think about sex, they think more about love. Before getting intimate with her, romance first to get her ready. Give her hugs and tell her lovely words. And ensure that she is not too tired for sex when you initiate it.
{Mutemi WM – Kerugoya}
She can improve her show if you both open up to each other. African women fear initiating the sex talk but when a man starts, they eventually open up. This issue should not kill the love you have for her. If you tell her how you like ‘it’ she might just open up to you soon.
{Ogara George – Kisumu}
Please know that there are women who are just not interested in sex. Secondly, you could be the problem.
So discuss the matter with her and express your fears to her. Continue working on your romance and with time, she will reciprocate this. Do not give up or lose interest in her, you may lose a good woman for no particular reason.
{Tasma Charles}
Some of the factors that affect sexual performance include stress, poor diet and lack of communication. Sex is not rocket science and this means that with the right attitude and practice, the two of you can perfect your game. This can be achieved by improving your communication, spending more time together and being creative in the bedroom.
{Pkemoi Ngenoh – Nairobi}
Maybe she has problems from her past for instance she may be a rape victim.
Discuss this with her and be patient as you both address the problem. If she has a negative attitude towards sex, maybe you are the problem. Don’t be so hard on her and don’t make her feel like sex is a chore.
{Ricky Majaba}
Sex is in the mind and the lack of interest can stem from stress, psychological trauma or a traumatic past experience. It may also reflect the problems between you and your wife. Encourage her to open up and do likewise and things will be fine.
{Kamau Beka – Mumias}
Sex without foreplay is like rape, so prepare her for sex physically and emotionally. Change your sex style and try those that will seek her participation. Also ensure that you make love when you are both willing and ready for it — not when she is exhausted.
{Felix Odhiambo – Oyugisnet}
It is not right to compare her sex performance with that of your previous girlfriends. She could be suffering from low sex drive so talk to her or visit a marriage counsellor. But please do not walk out on her because you might never find another with her other admirable qualities.
{Oyoo Wycklife – Akala}
I think she has devoted most of her time and energy to the household chores and maybe her job! So she has absolutely no energy for sex.
{Ignatius Odhiambo – Nairobi}
My take:
She never seems interested in sex:
There are many reasons why your wife is not interested in sex. Some include exhaustion, lack of sexual attraction to you, her sexual cycle may not have picked up and lastly, you may not have given her a reason to be interested in sex (read the last reason again out loud).
My emphasis on the last point is because the first three lie squarely with her and there are many things you could do together to sort them but the last one is purely your call.
Exhaustion could be brought about by excess responsibility on her shoulders which can be addressed by helping her with some chores or getting a house girl.
sexually interested in you:
The perceptions, needs and wants of men and women regarding sex are surprisingly different. For a man, sex is about dominance. That is why men like to have sex after a fight and get excited when women cry and scream during sex.
For a woman, sex is more emotional than physical; she needs to feel loved, appreciated, needed and wanted before, during and after sex. This lovey-dovey stuff doesn’t mean much to a man because what he needs and wants is penetration and ejaculation – period!
Getting her to feel appreciated and loved before sex does not mean being creative ten minutes before the act.
It starts from earlier in the day probably in the morning. To set the mood right, send her sweet love messages during the day, make a flirty phone call and once in a while delivera bunch of roses to her office.
Get creative during the day and by the time you walk through your door in the evening, she may not be wearing some sexy clothes.
After the game you need to appreciate her; hold her, caress her and say all those sweet nothings you would have said in your attempts to get her to bed.
Most men just roll over and snore the night away after sex – without even a thank you.
Once you master the art of getting her sexually interested in you before, during and after sex, she will always look forward to sex because she knows you will always treat her like a queen after the game.
Making marriage blissful…
If you want to make your marriage blissful like that of others, set your own parameters for your marriage. Most of those blissful moments you see with others are usually made up shows.
Some of those people don’t talk to each other in the car or at home but they master the art of showing bliss especially where it doesn’t exist.
Couples that are genuinely happy in their union don’t bother showing it off to the outside world.
{Taurus}