Gor Mahia and AFC Leopards slug it out in the cyberspace ahead of Derby

By Robin Toskin
Forget Spanish El Clasico for an AFC Leopards Samuel Eyinda has domesticated his version and christened it "Li Classiki!"
The cyberspace has been jammed with Gor Mahia and AFC Leopards fans with each side of the divide prodding and goading the other ahead of the Kenyan Premier League signature Derby tomorrow (Sunday) at Nyayo Stadium.
The social sites have hosted timeless wars ahead of the 90-minute battle between Kenya’s most supported clubs.
FeverPitch launched its rocket to the cyberspace to bring you a sneak preview of the battle there, but with brief not to edit pronouncements provided they are not obscene.

REGAL: Gor Mahia fans in a past KPL match at the National Stadium. [PHOTO: STAFFORDONDEGO/STANDARD]

And this is what we found with Gor Mahia faithful Elizabeth Adundo declaring: "It’s all systems go..."
Muliro Gardens
AFC Leopards fans have been accused of not showing strong loyalty to their struggling team with Japesa "Gor Journalist" alleging that "research has established the reason AFC fans don’t attend matches is because they are busy with day time duties. They are either at a Muhindi shop as watchmen, or in Muliro Gardens."
What happens at Muliro Gardens is not explained!
But Prince Branden Marshall posts: "From Dubai on Thursday just to witness my Ingwee demolish dem Gor Mahia. Hope my trip will be crowned with a win."
For Gor Mahia fan Noah Okidia has foreseen a K’Ogalo win and has posted the question: "How will you celebrate Gor Mahia’s 2 nil against Ingwe on Sunday?"
However, Leopards Conrad Shisanya Albert Kigada saw it fit to post a picture of Leopard attacking a man who although is not in green colours, must be a Gor fan and writes: "That’s what will happen to Gor Mahia on Sunday."
With tickets going on sale in various outlets costing Sh200 for terraces and Sh500 (VIP) section, Leopards’ Lijoodilson Arantez, he of the jersey labelled ‘Dawa ya K’Ogalo’ thinks it is expensive but says, "Pesa tutalipa, lakini pointi ni zetu wapende wasipende."
History and culture of both clubs have also come under scrutiny with Lijoodilson questioning the bravery of Gor Mahia, the legend, the club was supposedly named after. He alleges: "I’m told the man Gor Mahia was the cowardest ever man." Whatever "cowardest" means, he believes the legend is a fake.
Food theme is always a favourite will stereotypes that AFC Leopards fans eat sesame (your common simsim) while Gor Mahia have groundnuts as their favourite snack. However, chicken tops the menu with Mourice Otieno Werah declaring: "All Fried Chicken (AFC) no need to carry your Tuzo or sugar."
Dennis Wuod Abondo adds: "Ongeza masiguembe kubekube na miwa.........."
There are also the cheeky lot such as Gidi Gidiola, who says: "Tunga sentensi ukitumia neno ABANDU..."
And the answer comes fast and thick from Romantique Phyll Millionare who says, "Abandu atakapobanduliwa atabanduka kakaka!!!"