Don't joke! Mpango wa kando is costly

By John KariukiPeople claim love is blind. Frequently, when one has some money to splash, the thrill of dating escapades obscures his or her financial judgement.
In fact, going by many weekend antics of people dating in entertainment joints, one can be forgiven for thinking that he or she is missing something in the latest inflation forecast.
Apparently, some old rascals seem to have realised this when they go out with their mpango wa kando. They refuse to be "socialised upwards" to prohibitive places and their beaus have to "adjust downwards" to fit in down market dens.
But scores of other lovers appear to live in cloud nine. Frequently, they go out on dates with an aim of making a lasting impression. They will hire or borrow the latest models of fuel guzzlers and hang out in exclusive clubs where food and drinks are priced way beyond their reach.
History is replete with people who have given their date’s fabulous presents on the spur of love like yachts, aeroplanes, marques of cars and expensive jewelry.
The nobility have even ceded part of their territories to their lovers. While we may not order troops into war to prove our love, we nevertheless commit enormous funds to the vanity that frequently goes with it. And prolonged and reckless spending, in the name of love, can add up to a fortune with no guarantee that one will meet Mr or Miss Right.
Such escapades may become a fully-fledged career, derailing one from his or her financial goals for the rest of his or her life.
The facts on the ground are that the dating game is becoming increasingly expensive as inflation bites. And this calls for meticulous planning and caution to minimise the cost.
In this regard, many people, probably weighed down by their financial overheads, are only perfunctorily exchanging pleasantries along footpaths and walking away before any good, old, flirting develops.
Austin Gachango, an accountant, has been dating girls on the fast lane until he did the mathematics and reconsidered his wild ways.
He regrets a loan that he once took to take his date on a holiday.
"I am still paying the loan up to now and things never worked out for us", he says.
In retrospect, Gachango now sees where he went wrong with the dating game.
"I started on high note, taking my date to expensive places from day one and I had to live that way till we parted", he says.
Gachango advises the youth to date people of their social classes to minimise a character mismatch and ultimately the cost of the friendship.
"It’s important to understand the person you are dating before committing your money to any serous outings and purchases," he says.
Family wealthPeterson Lihanda, a civil servant, is also in the "game". Three relationships on, he has learnt his lessons, quite well.
"A previous girlfriend was more interested in what I earn and my share of my family wealth than in building a lasting relationship with me", he says. They parted ways after a shortwhile.
The second date had the nasty habit of bringing along a crowd of her friends whenever he took her out.
"In one sitting I would pay a bill of drinks in excess of Sh3,000," he says. Even a mere call to an after-work cup of tea would always end up as a meeting of five or six people, he adds. Partly due to these expenses and the fact that his date was never alone for a single moment, he ditched her and moved on.
He advises people in the dating field to keep off crowds and stick to their dates when on outings. "One should not rush in registering his or her bank accounts and property as jointly owned of property before fully knowing the other person," he says. Doing so, he adds, can be an expensive venture.
Yvonne Muturi, a teacher, says that the dating game is not a man’s problem only, but girls, too. "A girl has a few things that she must do before every date, irrespective of whether the romance leads to a lasting relationship or not", she says.
These range from getting a manicure and a pedicure to costly hair styling. She quantifies a manicure and pedicure at Sh400 and a hair styling session at anything from Sh500 to Sh1,000.
"We have not added the cost of minor things like eyebrow penciling and lipstick", she says and poses, "who between men and women buys new clothes for going out on dates?"
Muturi says that contrary to popular beliefs that men always spend money in relationships; there are a growing number of male sponges who have no qualms decimating women’s hard earned cash.
"Such guys are often serial heartbreakers and will walk into a woman’s life, get a life at her expense and leave when the fun is over," she says.
Dating fraudsMuturi has seen a colleague take a huge loan and entrust it to her boyfriend, ostensibly to start a joint business only for the fellow to squander the money with other women.
She advises women to trust their gut feelings before committing their money to the many dating frauds who are on the loose.
Sharing your hobby with your partner is a great and cheap way of dating. For example, one can teach his or her date how to knit, sing, bake and write and so on.
Lovers can start a new hobby together on something that interests both like shopping.