Secrets of coastal women unveiled

By Linah BenyawaA saying goes that arriving in Mombasa is easy, but leaving is difficult.
It is a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the charms of the coastal city and a caution to visitors from upcountry that once tasted, these charms could prove addictive.
As if to prove the veracity of the saying, names abound in Mombasa that suggest different origins. It is, for instance, common to come across names like Salim Omondi or Mohamed Njuguna.
It is commonly believed that a large part of these charms are of the female kind.
There is a widespread perception that coastal women are not only alluring, but also prove adhesive once a man falls under their spell.
The question many ask is, how do they do it?
To find out the answer, we talked to a number of people whose business is to advise women on how to keep their men happy and satisfied.
Aisha Abushir is a traditional marriage counsellor who also trains young women on how to treat their men. She says coastal women are unmatched when it comes to relationships.
And she reveals how she coaches the girls to be good wives who charm their men and add flavour to their marriages.
Aisha says coastal women are pretty, and with a little help from ‘love specialists’ like herself, are able to treat their men with tenderness and love.
This ensures that the men do not stray, she adds.
"Coastal women are good looking and know how to make a man feel loved and cared for," she says.
"They also have a sweet tongue and speak to their husbands in a sexy way."
Another womanShe talks about the various ways in which a woman can attract a man and keep him thinking of her all the time.
"She has to keep her home clean and neat because no man likes coming home to a dirty house. That’s why some end up coming home late or even seeking comfort from another woman," Aisha explains.
Some might find contentious her assertion that a woman should always be under a man because he is the head of the family. Women should never argue with their husbands and must always make sure they are neat, she says.
Say what you will, but Aisha still believes that men think with their tummies.
"The way to a man’s heart is through the stomach," she says.
"Cook the right meals for your husband. A woman has to devote her time to cooking the foods that her husband likes. That way, you will capture his love and he will always think about you."
Aisha is not the only on to hold such views. Mama Mwajuma is another counsellor who has mentored many girls. She is excited that all the girls she has trained are happily married.
She says a woman has to wake up early in the morning and ensure that she takes a shower, cleans the house and prepares a warm bath and breakfast for her man.
She should make sure that her husband’s clothes are clean and ironed neatly.
"Your husband has to be neatly dressed. Ensure that you get the right fragrance to make him smell good, which will give him confidence at work and in return he will always appreciate you," says Mwajuma.
Break-upsAisha counsels women to ensure that their men come home for lunch, especially if they don’t work far from home.
"Eating at a hotel is one of the things that will make him stray. He should always eat food cooked by you and in case you have a maid, she should never be the one to cook or serve him food. This is the big blunder that women make," Aisha says.
Laziness and overdependence on house girls, she warns, has resulted in many family break-ups. Even if a woman is working she should make sure that she comes home early enough to do the important household chores.
Cooking sumptuous meals for your man is not enough though. Abushir advises that when your husband comes home from work, ensure that you welcome him with a broad smile, undress him and give him a towel as you prepare a bath for him.
"After taking a bath, welcome him to the table, wash his hands by rubbing them softly and serve him food. Make sure there is drinking water or the drink of his choice on the table. Be active, crack jokes and ask him how his day was at work. These are some of the things that ensure a happy and lively marriage."
She also advises women to prepare octopus soup for their husbands because it increases the libido.
During the meal, she should ensure that love songs are playing in the background. This serves to prepare the man for the ‘task ahead’.
Bedroom matters are the most sensitive aspect of marriage life, says Mwajuma, and a woman needs to be active to spice up the relationship.
"A woman has to be active and charming in bed," she says.
"You can’t go to bed and sleep like a log, you have to make sure that you satisfy your man by giving him quality sex."
She says many men run away from their wives because they are not active in bed.

Appealing

"There are many ways to keep a man glued to you and always crave to make love with you," she says.
Asha Riziki is yet another counsellor. She explains what a woman should do as she waits for her husband in bed.
"You have to look appealing and wear the right clothes," she says.
"Sexy clothes will tempt your man to make love to you. Apply make-up in general, look appealing to your husband."
Asha adds that a woman should always keep her sex life hot and should never be a dull participant. Men love it when a woman is naughty in bed.
"Don’t be shy when making love. Be naughty and sexy. Men love such women and he will always think of you wherever he is," she says.
And Mwajuma explains that besides wearing the right clothes, smelling good and applying make-up, the bed and the room must also be clean and smell nice when making love.
"Before you go to bed, the room has to be clean, spray some fragrance and the bed sheets should also be clean. Wear some love ornaments to entice him."
She says many coastal women wear several beaded laces around the waist as ‘appetisers’.
ChallengeThese serve to increase a man’s sex drive," she says.
Wearing is only half the trick though. Mwajuma cautions that the art of lovemaking is quite a challenge and one needs to be experienced. That’s why so many girls visit her for some training before getting married.
WitchcraftShe adds that a woman should be ready to make love any time her husband’s asks for it — even when she is not in the mood.
"Men love sex, and if you don’t satisfy them, you give them an opportunity to go get it somewhere else. That’s why I always advise girls to make sure they satisfy their men," she says.
Abushir dismisses claims that coastal women use witchcraft to entice and keep men. Rather, the truth is that they are good in bed and go the extra mile to satisfy their men.
"It’s not easy to keep a man and we teach them good values and ways of ensuring that a man sticks to them. That’s why we are being accused of using witchcraft," she says.