JOSEPH KANYI | NATION Simon Kiguta at the Nyeri Provincial General Hospital after he was allegedly attacked by his wife in their home at Mihuti village in Nyeri County. Cases of violence against men by women are on the rise.
By KIPCHUMBA SOME ksome@ke.nationmedia.co.ke
Posted Saturday, February 18 2012 at 22:30
Posted Saturday, February 18 2012 at 22:30
IN SUMMARY
- Males have been the dominant gender since the dawn of mankind. But for the first time in human history, that is changing with astonishing speed.
- Women have entered virtually all spheres of life that were once considered male domains, and research shows that women are performing even better.
- From academics to employment and even in business, women are the new trail blazers. Are we seeing the last of men as the dominant figures in society?
Ms Judith Ng’endo wants a baby. She has a well-paying job and, at 27, she feels she is ready to start a family. But her ideal family does not include a husband.
Though she has a boyfriend with whom she goes out sometimes, she abhors the thought of marriage. She is not planning to adopt either. Instead, she wants a man who will father her child on a no-strings-attached agreement.
“Divorce rates are discouraging, and I detest the idea of submitting myself to another person. I honestly don’t think a marriage would last. In any case, why would I need a man if I can provide for myself and my child?”
The (un)lucky man must agree to her terms. “No involvement in my baby’s life whatsoever. He will be more like a sperm donor, and that’s it”.
Cultural norm
A few years ago, such a thought would have been unimaginable. Upon completing her college education, society expected the “model” girl to get a job and then a suitable man with whom to settle down in marriage. But these are indeed different times.
Women in general are increasingly defying cultural norms and, in the process, are challenging men’s traditional dominance in African society. For example, not long ago, single motherhood was frowned upon by society, but now it seems to have become a fad among employed urban women.
The man, the traditional head of the family unit, is fast fading into oblivion. However, this phenomenon is not confined to the family setting. The changing dynamics in the family are just one manifestation of what sociologists claim is the crumbling of the male edifice.
The male has been the dominant gender since the dawn of the human race. But, for the first time in history, this is changing with shocking speed. Women have entered virtually all spheres of life that were once considered male domains, and research shows they are even performing better.
The traditional symbols of power no longer belong to men alone. More and more women are acquiring cars, businesses, land and high-end jobs that men once believed to be their preserve.
Adopting the roles
On the other hand, men appear to remain static amidst these changes with cultural norms preventing them from adopting the roles played by women to balance the equation.
Is the end of men as we have known them beckoning?
“Maybe not quite so now, but we are surely on the way to that road,” says Ms Susan Choge, a lecturer at Masinde Muliro University of Science and Technology who has done research on changing social trends. “In many ways, the old order in which men had almost the final say in economic and political matters is crumbling and being moulded in ways that put women at an advantage.”
So bewildering is this new development that Dr Peter Kiarie Njoroge, a lecturer at the University of Nairobi who specialises in African traditional religion, worries that the trend could portend the extinction of mankind itself. “This is a very sad day when we are discussing war between men and women. What it reflects is that we have abandoned our traditional religious understanding. It is beyond comprehension.”
The rise of women is a global phenomenon. For the first time in US history, women became the majority in employment in 2010 and more than 50 per cent of top and middle-level managerial positions are now held by women according to US Bureau of Labour Statistics.
The power shift is even clearer in Nordic countries where women now hold the top political positions in Norway and Sweden. Earlier in 2009, neighbouring Iceland took it a step further by electing an openly declared lesbian its prime minister.
Statistics are hard to come by in Kenya since little research has been done on the issue here. But a casual observation of the socio-economic and political dynamics captures a gradual shift in power from patriarchy to matriarchy.
In the African setting, men were the breadwinners while women were caregivers. But as women take up both roles, the place of men in the socio-economic dynamic becomes increasingly open to question.
“If you cannot provide food for your family, then you definitely have no reason to be called the head of the family. One is called head of the family only because they provide,” Ms Choge said.
Mr Alfred Mwambi, 29, shares her view. He says he has lost a measure of respect for his father who has left the responsibility of paying the bills to his mother. “She paid school fees for us, built the house we live in and fed us. I have a different view of who the man is at home.”
The cultural norms from which men drew their authority and power are being eroded owing to a host of factors including modern education, religion and socio-economic changes.
These changes have benefitted women in many ways, given that most of the inhibiting cultural norms were targeted at them in the first place. For example, in many African communities, women could not inherit or own land.
Means of production
But it is now fairly common for women – even those who do marry – to inherit land from their fathers. In cases where girls have been left out of inheritance, they have taken advantage of new laws to challenge such decisions in court.
In any case, notes Ms Choge, land is no longer the main means of production in the modern economy. “Women study hard, get good jobs and start profitable businesses. They suddenly become the envy of their brothers who had inherited land,” she said.
While poverty is one of the leading causes in developing countries of families breaking apart, the manner in which the two sexes cope with the situation explains why women are gradually tilting the power balance in their favour.
Researchers say women cope better than men with poverty or even loss of employment. They start small-scale businesses and source financing through merry-go-rounds to better their financial status.
On the other hand, often men either succumb to depression or resort to alcohol, gambling and hard drugs as their self-esteem takes a beating, write two Kenyan sociologists in an article in an international journal.
In “Gender Paradigm Shift Within the Family Structure in Kiambu, Kenya,” in the Vol 1, No 3 of the 2011 African Journal of Social Sciences, Grace Wamue-Ngare and Nancy Waithera Njoroge of the Department of Gender and Development Studies at Kenyatta University say that the failure of men to adapt to the new economic dynamics is primarily the cause of tensions rocking the family unit.
Failure to adapt to the new power balance often leads to family tensions, which can quickly boil over into violence.
And recently it has been widely reported that some of this violence has been directed against men, especially in parts of Central Province.
“... Once discovered, the women beat them thoroughly, sometimes, warranting the men to ‘run away’ from home. Kikuyu customs dictate that men never ‘run away’ from home. It is vice-versa,” they write.
Most men who are victims of violence at home find it difficult to assert themselves since they are economically disadvantaged compared to their wives to whom they surrender leadership of the homes.
“As such, they become frustrated and continue to resent it. To demonstrate their assertion, empowered women want men to perform housework in return for their basic needs like food, clothes, conjugal rights or any other ‘small privileges’,” they write.
Their research is particularly an eye- opener on the much-reported problems facing the family unit in Central Province. They write that incestuous relationships have now taken root with fathers siring children for their sons who have been rendered “impotent” by the hard liquor they take to in frustration.
In addition, cross-generational relationships occur where women as old as 50 seek boys as young as 18 to satisfy their sexual desires which their husbands cannot or will not.
“Such women claimed that their husbands are either ‘too dirty, poor or impotent’; hence they (women) cannot allow them “conjugal rights”.
The power shift is being felt beyond the urban areas. Rural women still face challenges in asserting themselves amidst punitive cultural norms, but they are regarded as the backbone of the rural economy, although this fact is hardly acknowledged.Also speaking on condition of anonymity, these women claimed that conjugal rights, as the name suggests, are ‘rights’ given to those who deserve them; and in this case, their husbands are not anywhere near this category,” the researchers reported.
Contrary to popular belief, it is women, and not men, who are the main drivers of rural economies composed of small-scale businesses like kiosks and small-scale farming.
Preserve of men
Whereas traditional commercial crops like wheat and maize, which take long to mature, remain the preserve of men, kitchen gardens run mostly by women sustain families for the better part of the year.
It is an indisputable fact that women have a better saving culture than men. But a senior manager at a local bank has noticed an interesting trend in his customers.
Whereas most men withdraw money on Fridays, women bank a lot on Mondays. “Men tend to spend a lot on women during the weekend in one way or the other. However, women, surprisingly, do not spend all this money, rather they keep it for a rainy day. It has given them an edge,” said the banker who did not wish to be named for this story.
In formal employment, Ms Lineth Nyaboke, Head of Research and Policy Advocacy at the Federation of Kenya Employers, says employers increasingly prefer women to men when thinking of long-term company plans.
“Men will likely work for a few years and then venture into private businesses. Women, on the other hand, tend to be risk averse and stay longer at work. That’s why they grow into positions of leadership.”
In addition, this partially explains the rise of women to the growth of what economists call a “knowledge economy” that feeds off a traditionally “feminine” strength, such as telecommunications.
The service industry is gaining strength, and women with their superior communication abilities are often better suited to take up jobs and leadership positions than men, writes Ms Hanna Rossin in an article, “The End of Men”, in the US magazine The Atlantic.
“A white-collar economy values raw intellectual horsepower, which men and women have in equal amounts. It also requires communication skills and social intelligence, in which women, according to many studies, have a slight edge.”
Higher enrolment
In education, women are increasingly bridging the gender gap if this year’s Kenya Certificate of Primary Education examination is anything to go by. Statistics released by the Ministry of Education indicate that 51.6 per cent of the candidates were boys while 48.4 were girls. Primary school enrolment of girls was higher in four counties, namely Vihiga, Nairobi, Nyandarua and Embu.
When it comes to women’s advancement, few achievements can compare with the rising role of women in government. The move to achieving full gender parity may be slow and uneven, but women are increasingly being elected and appointed to positions of power.
Despite all these indications, it might be too early to conclude that women will take over control of the society today or tomorrow. But what is amply evident is that the male edifice is crumbling fast. And we can only wait to see what the future holds for once all-powerful men.At 20, the Tenth Parliament has the highest number of elected women MPs though the figure is far below the recommended 30 per cent. However, the provisions in the new Constitution will enhance women’s participation in public governance.
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