The Cutting Edge

By THE WATCHMAN
Posted  Tuesday, May 24 2011 at 17:20

BANK-FREE. The latest rip-off by banks is the new chequebooks on which they are levying hefty charges, says Charles Campbell Clause. “The chequebooks are apparently meant to make our lives better and more secure, but in practice benefit them. Now, here’s the rub; Standard Chartered charges Sh800 per local chequebook and $12 (Sh1,000) for a dollar account. No refund on the “old” unused cheque leaves, of course. This is yet another reason to campaign for a “bank-free” world, I say.” His contact is charles@eco.co.ke.

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RULED BY CROOKS. Some Route 23 matatus in Nairobi have hired gangs terrorising Kenya Bus and Citi Hoppa crews and commuters at the Civil Servants Estate at Kariobangi South and at Kimathi Estate, moans Jane Nzilani. The goons, she says, arrive as early as 5am and position themselves to ensure that only matatus pick up commuters. “We’re forced to board matatus and yet they never reach the city centre though we pay Sh50. How can we be ruled by crooks, who make us get to work late? Where are the authorities?”

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TELEPHONE WOES. Wallowing in telephone woes since January, David Maina Munyeria says their landlines’ pilot number, 3870007 (they have eight), has been out of order, totally cutting them off from their vital contacts. “We have been given endless excuses about cables having been vandalised on Ngong Road. This no longer makes any sense five months down the line. Do they care really about how much they lose every minute from the lack of usage by us and those calling us?” His contact is munyeria@pdslkenya.com.

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POLITICAL CHARADES. Have any of our political power barons ever stopped to consider why Barack Obama has chosen to first visit Ireland, the home of his maternal ancestors, before coming to the land of his father, as the President of the United States? asks Tony Gee. “Could Obama be embarrassed by the political charades that are never-ending in Parliament’s quest for democracy? Whatever the explanation, the score now stands at Ireland 1 — Kenya 0,” declares Tony, writing from his North Coast base at Kilifi.

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FREE SERVICE. After a good two years of patiently collecting and returning to sender the monthly electricity bills meant for one Anthony Ngugi Mbugua, Faith Gatimi says she is now finally at the end of her tether and, therefore, cannot continue providing that free service. She is thus appealing to Mbugua to immediately go to the KPLC offices concerned and give them his correct address so that his bills can be sent directly to him to spare her the inconvenience. Her mailbox is PO Box 3254-00100, Nairobi.

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BAY WATCH. Of the relatively few really good English slogans he has seen on billboards in Tanzania, where Kiswahili one-liners reign supreme, David Tumbula, who was in Dar es Salaam recently, says the new little car wash shed in the Kijitonyama suburb, owned by a flashy young entrepreneur, is by far the wittiest. The motto of the business known as Bay Wash, whose owner appears to have been thoroughly influenced by what he sees in American films or music videos, states: “Your dirt is our bread and butter.”

Have a witty day, won’t you!