Between the sheets: Low libido in men

By Getrude MungaiA few weeks ago, there was a report that a Kenyan man had chopped off his manhood in attempts to ‘teach’ his wife a lesson. The public was dismayed at the news and many thought he had lost his mind.
I thought of hiding my kitchen knives just in case my husband got ideas too.
The victim’s wife still in shock, was by his side making sure he was comfortable. I could see the despair in her eyes as she narrated what had happened; she still hoped for a solution.
Our men are socialised never to show any shortcomings ‘between the sheets’. So when they are unable to sustain an erection long enough for lovemaking, they can’t tell their wives or friends. Some will even take up girlfriends just to prove to everyone they can still perform. Given the number of pot-bellied men among us, it is no wonder that about 20 per cent of men suffer from erectile dysfunction. It is estimated that one in every five married couples have sex less than ten times in a year — technically non-sexual marriages.
CausesThere are many causes of low libido in men. They include:
• Stress, depression, neurological conditions and lack of enough sleep.
• Alcohol and illegal substance abuse.
• Past sexual abuse and sexual orientation.
• Diseases such as Parkinson’s, heart disease, diabetes, blood pressure, arthritis and cancer among others.
• Medications like anti-depressants and tranquilisers.
• Low levels of testosterone.
• Some husbands can also withhold sex to control/punish a wife for unresolved issues within the marriage.
When a husband fails to live up to the expectation, the first thing he does is self-medicate. I remember a talk I had with some men about libido.
One man shared how he had discovered a herb that worked magic to his flagging urge. Suddenly, all the other men were interested and wanted to find out more. Thereafter, nobody wanted to hear of how a healthier lifestyle could boost libido.
It is human to go for the easy solutions by reacting to symptoms and not the underlying condition. That is why before attempting anything else, a trip to the doctor’s is recommended.
The quick-fix might work for a while. As the primary cause gets worse, so does the libido.
After verifying that the man is not sleeping around, wives should resist being judgmental and ridiculing the man.
I hope that wasn’t the case with the man who chopped off his manhood. I can just imagine the frustrated woman, daring him to come and ‘get some’ if he is man enough.
Ensure your man eats a lot of fruits and vegetables and less meat. If you can get him to exercise even if it is just walking for 30 minutes every day, it will help a great deal.
Ultimately use your feminine charm to get him to see a doctor.