Weird manners of a stingy village man

David Odongo investigates the weird habits of a stingy character in Western Kenya

There is a man of his kind in a village in Siaya District. He is called Onyango, but nobody seems to know his second name.

Everybody in the village calls him Onyango-mogo orumo (literally translated, it means Onyango ‘the maize flour is over.’)

Besides his mysterious name, Onyango is considered a mean man in almost every aspect of life.

For instance, because Onyango doesn’t talk much, villagers consider him a man who is mean with words.

Since he does not take alcohol, Onyango is seen as being mean with his money.

Women think Onyango is mean with his seeds because he doesn’t have any affairs outside his marriage like most village men.

No bothers

Because he is strict with his budget, he does not allow his wife to do any shopping.

His meanness with time manifests itself even in a church where he worships. He walks out of the church if the priest takes five more minutes than usual in concluding the mass.

And although the common mode of transport in the village is a bicycle, Onyango never gives anybody a lift on his bicycle.

To ensure that nobody bothers him with requests for a lift, mogo orumo always has bag of maize flour tied tightly on his bicycles carrier.

If you ask him why he carries maize flour around, his quick reply is, "My wife is too busy so I decided to take the maize to the posho mill myself and I didn’t have time to drop it at home, so I will have it with me till I get home in the evening."

Cups of flour

And since he carries his bag of maize flour everyday, he has eventually earned the nickname.

But recently, he had a quarrel with his wife at the marketplace and slapped her in full view of everybody. She broke down into tears.

In between sobs and screams, she started hurling insults at mogo orumo, claiming Onyango carries maize flour around because he doesn’t want her to ‘waste’ it on visitors or the children.

"What type of a man are you? You only leave two cups of maize flour for me and the children for lunch and you carry the rest the whole day?" she shouted at her husband as the crowd milled around them and listened in dismay.

" We cant even cook dinner until you come back home with the flour. Last week, my sister visited and I couldn’t even make her porridge because you had the flour. I am tired of your stingy ways. And since there is enough food in Alego where I came from, I will go back to my parents," she ranted.

Exposure

The commotion attracted area assistant chief’s attention who took husband and wife into his office for a dressing down.

He gave a tongue lash to the woman for exposing her husband’s secrets and also had a man-to-man talk with the husband.

The next day and to the horror of everybody, Onyango was seen around the marketplace with the bag of maize flour still firmly tied to his bicycles carrier, prompting Crazy Monday to follow up the saga.

Interestingly, Onyango’s wife was more than willing to discuss her husband’s frugality.

She revealed that Onyango’s meanness has no boundaries.

The woman recalled her first day to encounter her husband’s meanness in its element: "One day he bought some meat and cut it into pieces. I could hear him count the pieces under his breath and I laughed it away, thinking he was just joking. Finally, he pushed the pieces towards me and said: " Those are 113 pieces, please cook them." He then left for the living room to watch TV, leaving me a mesmerised girl in the kitchen."

Pieces of meat

This was a few days into their marriage.

At first, the woman thought it was a joke until she brought the food to the table and the man served himself 17 pieces while counting loudly. Then he served her with15 pieces.

He then declared, " We have at least three meals with the rest of the pieces."

"That’s when it hit me. When we were dating, he never took me out even once. Rather, he used to bring homemade food and we would go to a public park to eat it.

I thought it was part of romance and that he was just sophisticated. I did not know he was an extraordinarily mean man" says she.

Membership withdrawn

The man also measures the amount of milk his two cows give everyday.

He supervises his wife as she milks to ensure that not a single drop of milk goes to waste. He decides how many cups are to be sold, how many are for tea and how many are used to make ghee.

One day, his wife milked the cows before he arrived home and went ahead to boil it since she was expecting some visitors.

When Onyango arrived, he fumed demanding to know why she had made such a decision without his permission. She received a few slaps before being ordered to call off the visit by her chama friends. She has since withdrawn her membership because her husband’s meanness has been a constant embarrassmentr.

She thinks Onyango’s meanness is genetical pointing out that one of his sister who is equally stingy.

She says the sister-in-law is so stingy that she once hid food from her when she was still dating Onyango.

"I had gone to visit my in-laws to be. I stayed for a few days and since we had not yet tied the knot, traditions did not allow us to sleep on the same bed, at least not with open knowledge of parents. During the visit, I was, therefore, supposed to stay with Onyango’s only sister.

Extended stay

"But because Onyango’s sister did not know I was visiting, she had prepared a meal of polenta (ugali) and fish for her lunch. When she saw me at the gate, she quickly hid the meal on top of a reed mat that was placed on the rafters, acting as a ceiling board," Mrs Onyango recalls.

Instead the potential sister in law made Mrs Onyango some black tea and served it with roasted cassava.

"After two days, I was joined by a cousin and we decided we would travel back to Alego over the weekend, so we extended our stay for a few days. I realised my sister-in -law was also a little bit short-tempered."

On the third day, there was unbearable stench in the house. Thank God, our host did not have any cats or her hidden treasure would have been discovered by the feline.

By the fourth day, the stench was intolerable and we set out to clean the mess.

She, however, protested saying she could do the cleaning once we had gone.

We ignored her and went ahead with the mission only to discover the rotting meal. he following evening my cousin and I travelled back to Alego.