Why Kalonzo has to return to the drawing board to succeed

By Ng’ang’a Gicumbi

Last week, I met some friends from Europe who had come to Kenya on a private meeting. After we were through with the agenda, we began discussing local politics.

I was surprised at how the foreigners were so conversant with the local political players. I was particularly surprised at the high regard they had for Vice-President Kalonzo Musyoka.

According to my visitors, in the eyes of many outsiders conversant with Kenya, Kalonzo fits the billing of the modern global president – one who is young, suave, educated, elitist and photogenic.

Their regard for him explains why they questioned why opinion polls placed him behind in ratings.

This talk occupied my thoughts for the better part of the past weekend. If it was true that Kalonzo was that appealing to wazungus, why was the story different with Kenyans? Or to put it in another way, what is it that Kenyans have seen in this aspirant that has so reviled them to seek for an alternative in spite of his appealing exteriors? Or are the pollsters on someone’s payroll to portray Kalonzo in bad light?

While it would be pretentious to say I have answers to these questions, it would be hollow not to say something about the VP.

One, he is a political survivor and dyed-in-the-wool political manipulator. He has kept himself afloat in Moi and Kibaki governments. To manage such a feat is not a mean achievement. One has to be ruthlessly self interested.

Kalonzo has successfully inserted his "saved" identity into his politics so much so that they seemingly appear undifferentiated. Today, he is the number one darling of the fundamentalist charismatic Christians.

Probably the closest challenger to this position is the Reverend Mutava Musyimi, formerly the Secretary General of the powerful NCCK, who like him, has declared an interest in the presidency.

It would do us good to heed what George W Bush, former US President said of politics: "A lot of times in politics you have people look you in the eye and tell you what’s not in their mind."

Two, Kalonzo is also the best bet the Kamba community has for president. He is the first Kamba politician to scale the highest political ladder since independence besides being the longest serving Kamba minister to hold various ministerial positions in various governments. Given his vast experience in politics as well as his international connections, Kalonzo is the man to beat in Kamba land.

Three, all the three past presidents have not only come from extremely poor backgrounds, but have also been extremely lucky persons.

Kalonzo seems to somewhat fit this description. Were the rule of precedence and the rule by the stars to prevail, then Kalonzo, out of all the presidential contenders, will emerge to be the next president.

The stealth of the crocodile, which the three presidents appear to possess in plenty, and which is the reason they became presidents in the first place, seems to have eluded Kalonzo.

That he is privy to the fact that the previous presidents have had luck on their side is revealed by his two magical campaign slogans: "Tutapitia katikati yao" and "Sasa tutapitia juu yao". These supposedly cute maxims are nothing less than boisterous claims, albeit haphazardly hidden, of his invincibility, probably, his belief that unseen powers are manipulating events and personalities to his favour.

These aphorisms tend also to portray him as a spoon-fed, lazy and easy-go-lucky politician unwilling to think, plan and execute strategically, one who is akin to the lazy vulture, renowned for stalking the weak and dying for hours on end, waiting for the golden opportunity to lay claim on its victims’ decaying flesh.

Kalonzo’s candidature will hit a dead end unless he quickly returns to the drawing board and redrafts his axioms to resonate with a brave new Kenya where people are keen to earn an honest living through the sweat of their brows and not through some short cut "katikati yao" or "juu yao" which bespeak of the three most deadly sins of yesteryears, which many Kenyans would rather not remember at all – corruption, opportunism and favouritism.

The writer is a behaviourist scientist