PLACENTAPARTY

NAIROBI, Kenya, Apr 16 – Controversial Finger of God leaders Joseph Hellon and Esther Timberlake on Friday launched a manifesto for their yet to be registered Placenta Party of Kenya.

Among its key promises is to scrap the name ‘Ministry’ and convert it to ‘Department’, where for instance the Ministry of Foreign Affairs will be called the Department of State. These Departments will be run by secretaries.

Party leader Hellon and his officials promised ‘better schools, better pay for teachers, and the construction of modern theatres of Arts and Culture’.

The Placenta Party’s colours are red, blue and white and during the press conference Hellon took a glass of milk to demonstrate the party’s official ‘drink’. (?)

“The red stands for torture…being sedated… Blue stands for prosperity and white symbolises the earth of transparency; we will be transparent in all that we do.”

Esther’s husband Quincy said that their ‘government would no longer have cheap maroon carpets, and instead will have nice blue ones’.

Quincy defended their bid for the top seats in government come 2012.

“If DJ Rajoelina (Madagascar) could become leader, then a saxophonist (Hellon) would make an even better one (leader)…” he claimed on Friday.

When asked if he thought Kenyans would take them seriously, Quincy argued that even Obama faced the same odds before becoming the President of the United States…

They claimed they’ve already registered their party but were cagey with the details.

The party first came to light after a media frenzy over the legitimacy of Hellon’s Finger of God church, which former KTN television presenter Esther quit her job to become a part of.

Then Hellon announced that he would vie for the Presidency with Esther as his running mate and Quincy as Prime Minister.

The press conference was held at the Hellon’s residence, which also doubles up as the church quarters. The Placenta Party’s new offices are in Hurlingham.