ife mourns as husband parties

By Shirley

Cathy has been married for seven years. She claims her husband cheated on her in their second year of marriage. Like most wives, she entered into marriage naively believing her husband would never stray. Although she noticed changes in her husband’s behaviour including phone calls late in the night and many business trips, she ignored them.

A friend who was working with her husband informed Cathy about his cheating ways. When she confronted him, he claimed it was a mistake and that it would not happen again.

Their marriage survived the affair and her husband changed for a while. Cathy claims that at the time, she believed it was her fault and she needed to be a better wife. She put her evening classes on hold and began coming home early. But a year later when she was pregnant, her husband went back to his old behaviour. He withdrew from her and would come home late. He was constantly on business trips on weekends and going to ushago without her.

Although her instincts warned her something was going on, she suppressed the thoughts and believed it was her pregnancy that was making him act like that. Even after she gave birth, her husband did not change. She later found out he was cheating on her. This time, she threatened to take their daughter and leave him. He begged her not to leave claiming he would change but she was determined. To stop her, he involved their parents who arranged for a reconciliation meeting.

Her husband, yet again, promised to change. For about a year, he was good and slid back to his old behaviour. He began to disappear from home and she barely saw him or even talked to him yet they lived under the same roof. Even though she suspected something was going on, she had no proof. Therefore, whenever she confronted him, he would claim she was paranoid.

In March this year, she became pregnant but that did not bring her husband from coming home late. She was lonely and unhappy but when she tried to explain to her husband, he refused to understand. She asked her family and friends for advice but they told her to ‘vumilia’. Last week, she received aphone call from a woman who said she was dating her husband and that she was pregnant. When she confronted her husband, he did not deny it and just ignored her.

Cathy says she is lonely and unhappy yet she has a husband and makes good money.

I advise Cathy that there comes a time in every woman’s life where she needs to put welfare and that of the children first. This man has abused and taken her for granted. If she stays, he will make her sick. It is okay to put her interest first because if a woman is unhappy then the kids cannot be happy. Why stay in misery while your man is out and about enjoying himself without any regard for you?