The curse of housing a job seeker

By David OdongoMany people travel from upcountry to look for employment opportunities in Nairobi. Once in the city, the young job seeker often seeks refuge at a relative's house until lady luck smiles upon them and they get their first opening.
They will live with a brother, an uncle or a cousin until their first pay cheque comes through, when they seek their own accommodation.
But living in someone’s house is not always easy. RelativeS who once used to insist that you come visit them in the city, turn into mortal enemies. Siblings will no longer see eye to eye and friends, after a brief stay together, turn into foes with venomous words for each other.
second cousinDaniel Nzioka, a print technician, recalls the time, a few years ago, when he allowed his second cousin to stay with him as he looked for a job.
"I invited him to Nairobi and he was very grateful. What I didn’t know was that in just three months, my cousin would ‘own’ and marry while in my house," he says.
It all started well enough. "I had a good job and so I did everything to make him comfortable. He got a girlfriend and since I wasn’t married yet, I had no problem with him bringing his girlfriend over for the weekend," recalls Daniel, who is now married and a father of two.
"Since we were almost the same age and both of us had the same needs, he always gave me space with my girlfriend, and likewise, I gave him space when his girlfriend came over."
By the second month, his cousin’s girlfriend started extending her stay.
She would arrive on Friday, remain over the weekend and leave on Tuesday. It also didn’t help that Daniel had allowed his cousin lie to the woman that the house was his, so the girl would accept to be his girlfriend.
"She started treating me like an intruder into their life. My cousin would go, idle in town, come back early and tell the woman that his job was not very demanding. Meanwhile, I was forced to buy household necessities more frequently than I could afford since I had two adults permanently in the house, and my cousin’s girlfriend usually invited her friends over.
earshot"It was at this point that my cousin also started making demands. He would pull me aside and question me at length as to why I went drinking alone without inviting him to join me. "If I bought myself a new shirt, he would ask me, when his girlfriend was out of earshot, why I didn’t buy him one too.
"The final straw that broke the camel’s back was when I came home one day, tired and hungry, and my cousin’s girlfriend said she couldn’t cook for me since she only had one husband, and on top of that, why was I not getting my own house?"
Daniel threw the surprised girl, and the now apologetic cousin out that very evening.
Some of the job seekers who are housed by their brothers or sisters are well mannered and eventually move into their own houses without any bad blood between them and their hosts.
But some of the hosts can also be mean. Elias Ndung’u, a graphic designer, recalls his first time in Nairobi. He came to stay with a friend, a former schoolmate from his village.
"We never took breakfast in his house. We usually had one meal a day, and that was supper. He had hammered into me the fact that city life was not easy. So he used to bring two eggs every day, and we would fry and eat them with ugali. "That was the only meal. I still have this niggling feeling that he used to eat somewhere else and then come home, but beggars can’t be choosers. He also turned me into his house help, washing his clothes and performing all the other domestic chores.
"I am lucky he wasn’t much into women because I am sure he would have thrown me out if he had a woman come for a sleepover. After two weeks, I decided to go back to my mother," says Elias. Three years after their unsuccessful attempt to live together, they have now become best of friends — not least because Elias has a job!
Many stories have been told of a female visitor breaking up the host’s family. Few married women will allow their sisters or female cousins to stay with them in the same house.
A University of Nairobi student, Milcah, says even though her sister is well off and has guest bedrooms in her house, she would rather have her stay in a hostel.
staging a coup"There is a time I complained about the hostels and she gave me the option of renting me a house. I only see her on Sundays, when we go to church, then we have lunch together with her husband and children after which she drops me off at my hostel," says Milcah.
"I know she is worried about her husband, who has in the past strayed. Her husband is quite generous with me in terms of meeting my financial needs and paying college fees, but I don’t think I can have an affair with my sister’s husband," insists the final year Communications Development student.
Some women who, out of the goodness of their own hearts, have agreed to host their sisters or female relatives, have lived to regret it.
Tales are told of girls who get cosy with the older sisters’ husbands, and eventually stage a coup.
"I can never allow a female job seeker to stay in my house," says Liz Kanini, an accountant. Liz, who has been married for three years, says no female, apart from her elderly mother and her daughter would be allowed into her matrimonial home.
"Men are weak and if a woman is persistent, they will agree to anything. I would rather have my brothers or male relatives living with me, unless it’s for a day or two," insists the mother of three.
Some job seekers are known to have an unusually healthy appetite. "I have no problem with food," says Timothy Kariuki, an advertising executive with a local medium-sized outdoor advertising company. "But buying two kilos of maize flour every two days was a bit expensive for me when I had my first job, and had allowed a friend to stay with me. At times, I would come back from work late and very tired, expecting to find food in the house for both of us, only to find he had eaten it all."
At that late hour and with no shops open, Timothy would be forced to sleep hungry as his friend snored away contently next to him. He goes on to reveal that his friend always had an extra serving of everything. Whatever food I bought, he would finish it, not thinking about the following day.
"I never addressed the issue with him, because as an African, and more so as a man, you can’t complain about food. I mean, how do you even bring up the topic? Its un-African to deny somebody food."
Timothy is, however, quick to defend his friend, saying he was a very hardworking fellow who eventually got a job and today is successful.
"I came to realise that it was not intentional because we are still friends and I visit him regularly. We even buy each other lunch, and he never eats as much as he used to eat back then!"