By James Gitau
Last week, I asked you whether you know some not so smart fellow who seems to be doing better than you in life. To see a guy who everybody in school thought would end up as a houseboy or a makanga at the very best, zoom past you with a car worth more than all you earthly possessions put together, can be quite disheartening for some people. I also poised, how come that most of the time we know what we need to do, but we just simply don’t do it or even worse we sabotage ourselves. What really stops people from living their dreams?
There are three fatal mistakes that even smart people make in their quest for success.
Failing To Understand We Are Creatures of Habit
Most people have not made planning a habit. In fact, many postpone planning until a problem arises and then they try to tailor a solution. The challenge with this approach is that the solution is pain driven and as soon as the pain temporarily eases, people revert to old habits. This is known as the “pressure cooker syndrome”.
The typical situation goes like this: The person consciously leads a poor health lifestyle for years, then one day boom! His doctor tells him he is diabetic and panic strikes. He draws a new healthy regime and off he goes to solve the problem. The same applies with finances or even relationships. A person ignores these key areas of their lives, then one day they wake up and realise so much time has gone and they are broke.
There was a sad case of a politician who had served as senior Cabinet minister for years. When he was fired from his ministerial post, the poor man publicly urged the Government to assist him with a lorry to transport his household goods from Nairobi to his rural home.
Back to our diabetic friend who is now driven by pain and fear to change his lifestyle. His chances of success are minimal as he is trying to acquire a new habit while his brain is wired differently. The brain is going to resist and sabotage him as it fails to recognise the new software he is trying to install. You see, anything you do repeatedly over a long period of time becomes a conditioned pattern. In other words, it becomes your auto pilot behavior and trying to go against your conditioned habit, is like trying to swim upstream in a strong flowing river. That is why change is really hard if one does not have the proper training and tools to help rewire their brain. As a matter of fact, research shows that even when people are faced with life a threatening condition, only one out ten will change.
Failure to Have the Big Picture
If you want to build your house and engage a great architect, you will make a detailed design of the proposed house and help you envisage how the house will look. You will also work with a group of other expert designers to make sure the house is safe and functional. Simply put, you will have a master plan for your house before you start your construction.
You must, therefore, start with the end in mind as the late Stephen Covey puts it in his book, 7 Habits of the most effective people. Most people do not have a master plan for their lives. They live by default rather than by design.
Failure to Get a Coach
Most people think they have what it takes to design a master plan of their lives. We have been made to believe that all you need is a good education and bang your door to success and happiness is wide open. Research indicates that people are becoming less and less happier despite having more education and even more money.
A good indicator of this is the increasing number of suicides and escapist behavior such as use of alcohol and other forms of drugs prescribed or non-prescribed. However, how many people do you know that have it all together in all key areas of their lives health, relationships, money, fun, spirituality and so forth?
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