Palaver

Remember when this pledge could mean the difference between a seat in Cabinet or a date with whip-swishing Kanu youth wingers? "I pledge my loyalty to the president and the nation of Kenya; my readiness and duty to defend the flag of our republic; my devotion to the words of our national anthem; my life and strength in the task of our nation’s building; in the living spirit embodied in our national motto – Harambee! and perpetuated in the the philosophy of peace, love and unity." And it worked! Any chance it can be revived so that we stop hearing a certain kinds of speech every time Cabinet is reshuffled?

Dear Honourable Ferdinand Waititu of P.O. Box Embakasi; I hope this missive finds you in good spirits, considering the request I want to make. Mheshimiwa, some spray paint-maker is making a killing in your name as no wall has been left ‘unspared’, splashing your impending candidature for Nairobi City Governor. While I wish you well in your quest, can you please leave no stone unturned as you unearth this ‘stalker’ who is wasting your chances at a job that does not require such shoddy, impunity-laden and criminal campaign tactics? Yours Sincerely: PALAVER.

NB. RSVP to my email below.

"The odds of me being re-elected are much higher than the odds of me being elected in the first place," President Barack Obama implored donors about this year’s presidential election at two fundraisers in the Washington, D.C. And even after flying the last American uniform out of ‘I-Raq’, thousands of others are still mired in another No-Win daily shoot-out range called Afghanistan. And the Republicans are not giving him respite as they very quickly claim Obama is a weak and closet Muslim if he removes all troops from all foreign sorties and also loudly accuse him is wasting tax payer money if he doesn’t remove all troops by, say, year-end! Wonder what his job description reads like!

And finally...

Spare a thought for those poor oilers of Turkana. Now they are being asked to pay by the barrel in order to get water, roads, power, security, and schools. And even then, they have a three-year wait ahead! Perchance, what happened to the coalition of Catholic Church, World Vision and ActionAid that used to be the "visible" government there?

editorial@standardmedia co.ke