Oh! How times have changed

By Njoki Karuoya

For long I have heard men argue against women being allowed many privileges (like men) as this will make them become headstrong, and as a rule, we can’t have two heads leading the same house or community/society.

Yet, when I look around, men have embraced gender equality with enthusiasm.

Traditionally, at the household level, men were the sole breadwinners. They went out and hunted for game that would last the family weeks, formulated policies to guide the family operations and protected their families against the enemy.

Today, with the agitation for gender equality, many men have abdicated this traditional role. Thousands of men are no longer the sole bread winners. Many are ‘kept’ by their women while they laze in their homes, shambas or in the neighbourhood alcoholic den.

Meat provision

Where women were only responsible for the ‘kitchen budget’, today they bring home the bacon and decide how they will be eaten . Again, meat provision has been abdicated by many men, another coup of gender equality.

The formulation and enforcement of family-oriented policies has been generously shared out with women, meaning women have taken over this responsibility.

In today’s world, women decide what colours the walls should be painted, what furniture to buy, the menu for the week, and who will eat what meat pieces.

In addition, many women also decide the number of children to have. Traditionally, men preferred to have as many children as there were eggs. It didn’t matter how many died along the way, the focus was on numbers. And when men discussed their children, it was with pride that a man would declare his wealth, which included the number of wives, children and livestock.

But with the clamour for gender equality, men have, again, ceded this responsibility. They now take pride in one ‘official’ wife, two or three children, and one or two cows. How times have changed!

And what about security? Men will not go out fight a hand-to-hand combat with the enemy, namely thieves or other threats to the family. Instead, they will hire other men to do it. In fact, men have no problem allowing women to protect them — just look at the increasing number of women in the armed forces and other security agencies.

Highest level

In the workplace, men have gradually allowed their spaces to women, who now control corporates, government ministries, parastatals, and other positions of authority.

The same patterns have been replicated in other areas, from community level to the highest level. In fact, a woman is vying for presidency in this country as more are encouraged to apply, and there are others leading countries in other parts of the world.

So men must fight those rumours that claim they are not ‘for’ gender equality.

Men need to hire a research agency, like those that do opinion polls and contract them to conduct a research on how much men have ceded ‘power’.

The research has to capture all the areas, including education, dowry (some women even allow men to get away with them without paying this important form of family appreciation), health (where men are working as nurses while women as doctors), poverty levels (traditionally, this was the woman’s forte; today, many men are just as poor, if not more, as women).

The research must be well documented and, after its completion, must be unveiled with much pomp and colour, as men show proof that they are not women’s enemy, as is always thought — and they will have concrete proof to demonstrate this.

So let us stop haranguing men about their supposed distaste of gender equality; it is clear they are fully on board.