He is married with two children, a boy and a girl, and both attend a high-cost private school. His wife, a dazzling beauty, runs a popular saloon in the estate where they live.
By all standards, 38-year-old Thomas Ndanyi is a successful man living on the fast lane of life. In retrospect, however, Thomas owes his success to a woman who spurned him.
"I thank my former girlfriend for my achievements," says Thomas with a smile. "We broke up 11 years ago. We had dated for three years in college and hoped to get married," he adds.
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However, when they cleared college, he says the woman got a job before him.
"She became very ‘complicated’ and after sometime accused me of being good-for-nothing because I did not have money," he recalls.
Eventually they separated. Since then, Thomas swore to ‘revenge’ against her. "I really loved her but when she rejected me, I could not take it lying," he says.
After breakupSeven months after their break up, Thomas got a job with a bank in Nairobi. The thought of the woman dumping him made him work harder.
Today, he strongly believes he could not have been successful were it not for the rejection he suffered.
"I toiled to accumulate my wealth so that I could ‘hit back’ at her. I think it was my best decision," says Thomas whose former girlfriend is not married and she is not doing as good.
Welcome to the world of strange things men do after suffering rejection. While some take it positively and move on with life, others work overdrive to ‘revenge’ against their former lovers.
Meshak Bosibori’s story did rounds in an estate in Eastlands, Nairobi. After breaking up with Bernice, his girlfriend of one year, Meshak became a tormented man.
He plotted how to punish and ruin her chances of ever finding another man. He traversed the estate spreading malicious rumours about her.
The 25-year-old informed anyone who cared to listen how he terminated the relationship after discovering his girlfriend often visited Koinange Street. Unfaithful girl
"He said that girl was unfaithful. He alleged that people used to tell him to be careful with her but he never listened. He claimed a cousin bumped into her on Koinange Street with another man. She pleaded with him not to inform the boyfriend but you know blood is thicker than water," said a friend privy to the union.
Those who knew Bernice took his words with a pinch of salt. When this failed, he began stalking her over the phone. He would anonymously call and pretend to be a concerned friend worried about her separation with him.
As fate would have it, this trick backfired. His desperation climaxed when he alleged that she was HIV positive.
Tired of his antics, Bernice caught up with him and in the glare of the public spilt the beans. She had ended the relationship because he suffered from erectile dysfunction.
Mark Theru, a computer technician in Nairobi says unlike women, few men take rejection positively.
"Being rejected is a humiliating experience for men. I think we have an inflated ego that cannot stand rejection. Personally, I will take it as an insult to my manhood," he says.
Cyprian Oduori says it is not easy for a man to accept rejection especially when he has ‘invested’ so much in a woman.
"How do you accept rejection when you have bought her, for instance a mobile phone which she will use to get her next boyfriend?" he poses. "What men feel when rejected is like what someone feels when they lose their source of livelihood," he adds.
Oduori says some men have an immeasurable amount of jealousy that they demand items they bought for a woman when the woman finally quits the relationship.
"I cannot allow her to use what I bought to benefit another man. For me, I will ask for everything I have given her so that we can part in peace," says the 29-year-old sales executive.
Although demanding back items bought for a woman seems a disgraceful act, some men have done extremely outrageous things.
Take the shocking case in Kisumu that was in the news recently. A woman ditched her irresponsible lover and moved in with another man.
When the cuckolded man got wind of it, he went to the house where she was living with her newfound lover and begged to reunite with her.
When she refused, the smitten man sadly killed her. He thereafter committed suicide. Neighbours talked of how the assailant was a polite man who they thought could not even hurt a fly.
Steve Bire blames his obese physique on a girl she had fallen in love with a while ago.
"I had a crush on her but I did not have the courage to approach her," he narrates. "One day, I got the guts and told her what I felt about her but she rebuffed my advances."
From them on, he felt humiliated and developed an insatiable appetite for food.
"I would eat and eat without getting satisfied. I don’t know what she did to me but I found myself liking fast foods," says the 22-year-old student.
He has become overweight. Interestingly, Bire believes through his excessive eating, he was hitting back at the girl.
While men turn to some of the antics to hit back at their former lovers, the women they later date or marry seldom know this.
Thomas says his wife does not know that one of the reasons he married her was to settle scores with his former girlfriend.
"My wish was to marry a beautiful woman who would make her jealous and regret what she did to me. I invited her to my wedding and made her aware of my financial status," he reveals.
Although if given a chance, he would not reunite with her, he believes he has had his ‘sweet revenge.’
But not only men resort to such acts, women also have weird ways of dealing with rejection.
A woman in Kakamega punished her former boyfriend after realising he would not marry her despite having a baby with him. She dumped the infant at his workplace.
Her missionThe woman arrived at his place of work and insisted to see his boyfriend’s boss. Without knowing her mission, the receptionist ushered her into the boss’s magnificent office.
With the baby strapped on her back, she narrated to the female manager how the man got her pregnant and declined to provide for the baby.
On hearing her plight, the boss summoned the man. He arrived expecting a commendation for his good work, only to meet his former girlfriend.
As they conversed, she tricked him into carrying the baby and fled. That was the last day the man worked at the company.
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