A shocking report out of the NBA front office indicates that Ayesha Curry, wife of two-time league MVP Stephen Curry, has been suspended for Game 7 of the NBA Finals for criticizing referees on social media.
Amazingly, Curry has never been suspended for a single NBA game throughout her 7-year career in either the regular season or playoffs. It is currently unclear how Warriors coach Steve Kerr will adjust his game-plan without her in the line-up.
“She made several comments in the heat of the moment, and she has accepted her punishment from the league,” said Kerr, who went to note that he fully expects Curry to “cheer us on from the sidelines at this pivotal moment.”
NBA Commissioner Adam Silver declined to comment further on the suspension, releasing only a single statement: “Ayesha Curry is a valued member of the NBA family, but she will not be playing in Game 7. We must hold everyone to the same standard. Also, Curry’s recipe for Caribbean-style jerked chicken was the hit of my last dinner party.”
Reached for comment, Curry replied that she had fully been planning to wear fashionable high heels to Oracle Arena and that her suspension “hasn’t changed those plans one iota.”
Get our newsletter We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.