Saturday, November 30, 2013
Married or not… you should read this.
When I got home that night my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking about divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
Friday, November 29, 2013
Osuji opposes ICC decision on Uhuru
JUBILATION: President Uhuru Kenyatta kisses the Fifa World Cup Trophy at the Coca- Cola headquarters in Nairobi yesterday. AFP PHOTO/SIMON MAINA
ICC trial judge Chile-Eboe Osuji has said President Uhuru Kenyatta can abscond his February 5 trial without breaking any Rome Statute provision or risking any warrant of arrest.
In an opinion dissenting with Tuesday's decision reversing earlier decision allowing Uhuru to skip parts of his trial, Osuji also poked holes into the October 25 appeals chamber decision which necessitated the reversal in the first place.
The appeals chamber decision was made in respect of Deputy President William Ruto following an appeal by chief prosecutor Fatou Bensouda.
The prosecutor subsequently sought the reversal of a similar decision on skipping parts of trial which had been granted to Uhuru on October 18.
Osuji dedicated 63 pages of his 79 paged opinion to proving that an accused can abscond trial without breaking any known international criminal law or human rights law - including the Rome Statute.
He said the presiding judge in Uhuru's trial chamber, Kuniko Ozaki, should not have taken part in reversing the decision since she did not agree with it in the first place. Ozaki had dissented the October 18 decision.
Osuji judge said Ruto's Appeals chamber decision merely glossed over the question of trial in absentia yet “it is an important question that needs to be considered.”
“The discretion to conduct trial in the absence of the accused is now well recognised and accepted in international law; the discretion is also well accepted in the principal legal systems of the world that exert the most influence on the development of legal norms and processes that apply at the ICC,” he said.
The Nigerian said the Rome Statute does not preclude trial in absence explicitly or by implication and therefore it can be exercised pursuant to Article 21(b) and (c) of the Statute, through which the legal norms of the ICC can adopt international law and general principles of law recognised in national jurisdictions.
He cited many international law scholars and articles to back up his claim. Osuji said even Nuremberg Trials tried Adolf Hitler's secretary Martin Bormann in absentia.
He said the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda also tried Jean-Bosco Barayagwiza in his absence. Osuji argued that many states allow for trial in absentia and accused ICC of habouring “hollow pretensions” of attempting to divorce the court from the reality of the world.
“The doctrine of complementarity of the court's jurisdiction should make it inconvenient for the ICC functionaries to construe the court into an ivory tower of novel ideas, which are divorced from generally accepted norms that guide the administration of justice in the systems that enjoy the primary jurisdiction,” he said.
The judge said the question ought to be how a trial in absence of Uhuru should be conducted to meet standards of international human rights law, not whether it should happen. He said Ozaki had “no standing” to review the decision.
Osuji said common sense does not permit her to reverse a decision in which a “critical member of the deciding majority had refused to reconsider.” He said the precedent the reversal will set is a very dangerous one especially because the ICC does not have rules governing reconsideration.
“No majority decision will be safe from such practice or precedent. The move strikes at the very core of judicial independence. It is not to be encouraged,” Osuji said.
Osuji believes that rather than reverse the decision, the trial chamber should have allowed Bensouda to appeal the matter. He says in doing so, the appeals chamber would clarify many issues it left hanging in their decision. Also, the judge says there are 'appreciable differences” between Ruto and Uhuru cases.
I was offered Sh250m to dump ODM – Ongoro
By Mwaura Samora NAIROBI, KENYA: Nominated Senator Elizabeth Ongoro’s office is on the seventh floor of KICC. But security guards mistook ‘Ongoro’ for ‘Ongera’ and led us to fellow senator Janet Ongera’s office on the fifth floor.
The sharp stares and stern replies from the secretaries immediately jerked us to the realization that there is no love lost between the two. Just to jog your memory, the duo are said, at least from media reports, to have engaged in a cat fight during an Orange Democratic Movement’s ( ODM) party retreat in Naivasha last April. The beef was over who was to be the party’s Chief Whip for ODM. It was not the first time Ongoro – the first assistant minister to deliver a baby in office – was hitting the headlines. In September 2011, allegations of domestic violence against her husband, Ferdinand Masha Kenga, who was said to have been hospitalized following a bitter confrontation surfaced. Kenga, however, denied he had been battered. Then there were the nomination battles with former Starehe legislator Margaret Wanjiru over who was to be the party flag bearer for the Nairobi Senatorial race. In a candid interview with The Nairobian, the controversial politician spoke on a wide range of issues. “I was disappointed because the primaries were greatly flawed and mismanaged by some bad elements inside the party, which eventually cost us the general elections,” the former Kasarani MP said. “I was approached and offered Sh250 million to abandon ODM but because I believe in the party’s vision for Kenya, I decided to remain firmly behind our presidential candidate”. Ongoro is vying for Secretary General in ODM in the upcoming elections to sanitise the party and ensure there is no repeat of such fiasco.
The mother of four comes across as simple, straight to the point, uncluttered. She dons no jewelry save for a brownish beaded chain to march what she refers to as a “Maendeleo ya Wanawake” dress of the same colour.
Her office walls are devoid of decorations besides the portrait of President Uhuru Kenyatta smiling at us while the furniture is basic — a documents-filled wardrobe, clean bare executive office table, a sofa set and two chairs.
Read more at: http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/?articleID=2000098957&story_title=i-was-offered-sh250m-to-dump-odm-ongoro&pageNo=2
The sharp stares and stern replies from the secretaries immediately jerked us to the realization that there is no love lost between the two. Just to jog your memory, the duo are said, at least from media reports, to have engaged in a cat fight during an Orange Democratic Movement’s ( ODM) party retreat in Naivasha last April. The beef was over who was to be the party’s Chief Whip for ODM. It was not the first time Ongoro – the first assistant minister to deliver a baby in office – was hitting the headlines. In September 2011, allegations of domestic violence against her husband, Ferdinand Masha Kenga, who was said to have been hospitalized following a bitter confrontation surfaced. Kenga, however, denied he had been battered. Then there were the nomination battles with former Starehe legislator Margaret Wanjiru over who was to be the party flag bearer for the Nairobi Senatorial race. In a candid interview with The Nairobian, the controversial politician spoke on a wide range of issues. “I was disappointed because the primaries were greatly flawed and mismanaged by some bad elements inside the party, which eventually cost us the general elections,” the former Kasarani MP said. “I was approached and offered Sh250 million to abandon ODM but because I believe in the party’s vision for Kenya, I decided to remain firmly behind our presidential candidate”. Ongoro is vying for Secretary General in ODM in the upcoming elections to sanitise the party and ensure there is no repeat of such fiasco.
The mother of four comes across as simple, straight to the point, uncluttered. She dons no jewelry save for a brownish beaded chain to march what she refers to as a “Maendeleo ya Wanawake” dress of the same colour.
Her office walls are devoid of decorations besides the portrait of President Uhuru Kenyatta smiling at us while the furniture is basic — a documents-filled wardrobe, clean bare executive office table, a sofa set and two chairs.
Read more at: http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/?articleID=2000098957&story_title=i-was-offered-sh250m-to-dump-odm-ongoro&pageNo=2
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Mudavadi a relic of political history, says Kanduyi MP
REJOINDER: Kanduyi MP Wamunyinyi. Photo/FILE
The Cord alliance has responded to the attack on former Prime Minister Raila Odinga by former Deputy Prime Minister Musalia Mudavadi by branding the latter as “a relic of political history”.
Chairman of FORD-Kenya Bungoma county and MP for Kanduyi Wafula Wamunyinyi said that Mudavadi has re-emerged into the political scene to prevent Cord co-principal Moses Wetang’ula from clinching the Bungoma senatorial seat which he lost after a successful petition by former cabinet minister Musikari Kombo.
"Musalia Mudavadi has re-appeared from the ashes of the March 4th 2013 to do what he does best, spoil,” Wamunyinyi said; adding that, "the Luhya community are aware of Mudavadi’s opportunistic and cowardly style of politics."
“Mudavadi should know that there is no battle for supremacy between him and Mr. Odinga because he holds no waters in Bungoma politics. Nobody takes him seriously on anything as it is a fact that everyone knows his opportunistic and cowardly style of politics where he is always waiting to be invited, offered and given,” the Kanduyi MP said.
Wamunyinyi concluded by saying that Mudavadi is no longer important enough to warrant engagement by the Cord co-principals. Mudavadi in a scathing attack against Raila said that the ODM leader is playing the politics of deceit and warned the Bungoma electorate that Raila’s brand of politics is unacceptable and outdated.
Raila's spokesman Dennis Onyango also responded to Mudavadi's remarks dismissing Mudavadi's "criticism as the kicks of a dying horse"
Yesterday Mudavadi had accused attacked Raila over his allegations that the Amani coalition was using the Bungoma by-election to gain favours from the Jubilee government. Mudavadi had accused the Cord coalition leader of "vitriol" and "character assassination" of other leaders.
In a strongly worded statement Musalia accused Raila of deceit and double speak stating that Raila welcomed President Uhuru Kenyatta with open arms yet asks the people of Bungoma not to work the with the Jubilee government.
“One cannot masquerade for ever. The image of infallibility he projects is meant to hide a tumultuous implosion in his party. And the solution is not to panic and divert attention by dwelling on Musalia.” Mudavadi said.
Mudavadi’s Amani coalition is backing Ford Kenya Party’s Musikari Kombo in the by-election set for December 19. Cord’s candidate is Moses Wetang’ula whose election was nullified by the court.
Corridors Of Power
Deputy President William Ruto
Deputy President William Ruto is a man capable of the winning hearts and minds of those who may not like him. All he needs is a platform. Last week he met donors at Laico Regency to discuss issues between them and the government. So impressive was Ruto that some of the donors, who intially did not like him, instantly changed their view of the man. Some have been telling their friends that they think Ruto could be the man they want to do business with!
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The usually witty and evasive Attorney General Githu Muigai met his match at The Hague last weekend. On the sidelines of the ongoing ASP meeting, the AG came face to face with what his Jubilee friends call the “evil civil society” and challenged them to disclose their interest in the ICC cases and who they speak for. But one of his former students, Njonjo Mue, rose to the challenge and said he must have missed the class where the AG taught that the law should be used to help those in power to evade justice.
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Bahati MP Kimani Ngunjiri is an interesting man. He was seen on TV swearing by the high heavens that he will not entertain drunkenness in his constituency. Ironically, the Ngunjiri was wearing a cap advertising a liquor brand – Viceroy. It is not clear whether the he was aware of the contradiction he was exposing viewers to.
Bahati MP Kimani Ngunjiri is an interesting man. He was seen on TV swearing by the high heavens that he will not entertain drunkenness in his constituency. Ironically, the Ngunjiri was wearing a cap advertising a liquor brand – Viceroy. It is not clear whether the he was aware of the contradiction he was exposing viewers to.
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A known aging Asian contractor, who had deep connections in previous regimes, is facing tough times with a myriad of land cases in court. The politically-orphaned man is in trouble with the government and is locked in a bitter battle with a Somali businessman over the ownership of a piece of city land which connects Rhapta Road to the newly constructed Ring Road.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
KINYUA TAKES RUTO'S ROLE OF COORDINATION
MANY HATS: Chief of Staff and head of Public Service Joseph Kinyua
The Chief of Staff and Head of Public Service Joseph Kinyua has taken some of the roles that had initially been allocated to the office of the Deputy President William Ruto.
Kinyua is now coordinating both Cabinet Ministers and Principal Secretaries, functions that Ruto used to undertake before Kinyua's appointment. President Kenyatta revealed Kinyua's new role during a meeting of Cabinet and Principal Secretaries at State House last month.The President said Kinyua will, among other things, coordinate Cabinet affairs and Cabinet programmes.
According to article 147 of the Constitution, the Deputy President is the principal assistant to the President and deputises the Head of State in the execution of the President's function.
"The Deputy President shall perform functions conferred to him by the constitution and any other functions of the President as the President may assign," says article 137(2)
Yesterday several cabinet Ministers and Principal secretaries told the Star that they are only implementing decisions given or approved by Kinyua.
"We cannot implement any directive from the Presidency unless it is approved and signed by the President himself or Kinyua," said a Cabinet Minister.
Another Minister known to be close to Ruto complained that although they meet Ruto and brief him on what they are doing, all resolutions reached in meetings with Ruto must be sent to Kinyua for his approval before they are implemented.
Three weeks ago the Star revealed that that the DP's vote had been moved to State House while he was at attending his trial at the Hague.
The moved sparked a flurry of meetings between Ruto, State House controller Lawrence Lenayapa, Chief off Staff in Ruto's office Maryanne Keitanyi and Finance Minister Henry Rotich which resulted in some allocations returned to the DP's office. Ruto's office dismissed the story later as untrue.
Ruto's ally Kericho senator Charles Keter then followed up the loss of budget claims with a demand that some government officials who fixed Ruto at the ICC quit or be fired.
Late last month MPs demanded to know if Kunyua's appointment was legal. Although the Leader of Majority Adan Duale said the appointment was legal, MPs insisted that the appointment was illegal and unprocedural.
The MPs said Kinyua’s role as the boss of all the country’s public servants required that he should be vetted by the National Assembly.
Deputy Speaker Joyce Laboso who is Ruto's close ally ordered that the Justice and Legal Affairs Committee to investigate the matter and clear the air on points of law. The Committee is yet to report back on the matter.
Yesterday the Star further learnt that Keter, some TNA MPS and others from URP had now resolved to quietly push for the removal of Ruto's fixers.
The MPs have been holding meetings and plan to ask the President to dismiss the unnamed officials."I can tell you for sure that a section of URP and TNA members are not happy with those who fixed their leaders and are now planing to meet meet both the president and his deputy to push for their sacking. What Keter said is just a tip of the iceberg and that is the position of many of Jubilee members," he said.
Siaya senator James Orengo is expected to name the officials if both Uhuru and Ruto will not fired them this week. “I have given President Kenyatta and William Ruto 10 days to name those who fixed the Deputy President or I do so,” he said in Kisumu last weekend.
Corridors Of Power
Former Vice president Kalonzo Musyoka at a cord meeting . Photo/MONICAH MWANGI
Parliament buildings.
Who operated a secret TNA account in one of the leading banks in upperhil? We are told that those who had access to the account emptied in as soon as it filled up and the money they withdrew cannot be accounted for because in some cases it was not even signed for.!
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We are told that former Vice President and Cord principal Kalonzo Musyoka has upped his game when it comes to political rhetoric. Those who have attended the campaign rallies the man has addressed from Makueni to Kibwezi and recently Bungoma, say Kalonzo has become the harshest critic of the Jubilee administration. Previously perceived as a weakling and a man who cannot make tough decisions, the new Kalonzo seams to be fearless in his criticism of the government of the day.
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Just what is happening at the Youth Access to Government Procurement Opportunities at the Treasury? Corridor is reliably informed that officers seconded to the desk by the Devolution and Planning ministry have been having a field day abdicating their duty and not attending to the many Women and Youth who flock the desk to have their companies cleared before accessing the 30 percent of government tenders. some of the officers manning the desk have been leaving duty at 10am only referring those seeking help to the website that is unreliable.
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Some MPs at the National Assembly have been complaining of receiving demeaning treatment from some staff members of the National Assembly. Members have been complaining that the staff connive to hide documents for unknown reasons. Recently an MP was involved in an exchange with a staffer over the document he was looking for and the usually privileged MPs are now wondering whether the staffer is acting on its his own or its part of the wider attempt to frustrate the MPs.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Corridors of Power
Machakos Governor Dr Alfred Mutua
The photo of six “hustlers” jets parked in Sotik at a homecoming bash attended by Deputy President William Ruto is doing more damage to the Jubilee administration than they ever thought. The photo, which is doing rounds on social media and which first appeared in a local newspaper, paints the impression of spendthrift politicians out to impress than to sort out people's problems.
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Members of the Kenyan delegation to the Africa-Arab conference in Kuwait who had hoped that Arab belly dancers would welcome them on arrival at the meeting venue were shocked to find that those who welcomed them were not actually belly dancers but simply “traditional dancers". Sadly for them, the traditional dancers had swords with them and could not be approached easily.
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Just who was the exceptional beauty who sat next to Machakos Governor Alfred Mutua during the launch of the Machakos City? We are told that the lass is a former Kenya Airways hostess who quit her job to attend to a new-found man who also attended the event. The man has since dropped his family but is supporting it. He however lives with the beauty.
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Some senior officials of the Kenya Sugar Board were heard complaining that the CEO has been busy hiring choppers for political bigwigs from Nyanza and Western Kenya whenever they want to tour the areas. The men complained that even a chopper was hired for the Agriculture Secretary Felix Koskei and ODM leader Raila Odinga. They questioned why the Koskei and Raila did not hire one for themselves. They lamented that soon the sugar board will have no money as a result of hiring choppers.
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An employee of Kenyatta University, Miyandazi Martha, is a frustrated woman. She says the university terminated her employment and when she went to court, the institution was ordered to reinstate her but it hasn't. Despite her numerous complaints to the concerned authorities, she says no one has heard her despite the university failing to honour a court order. Miyandazi now blames KU vice chancellor Olive Mugenda for being personal and frustrating her.