My younger brother, this sermonette is to encourage you to make yourself and your spouse happy. No matter why/how you got married, you can spiritually work on your marriage to make it happy. You could be in a “hostage marriage” but remember you contributed to being there. There are some foundations that you must just “uproot” spiritually, we shall talk about them later. The Bible says in Prov.18:22 “Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour of the LORD”. Below is some counsel for this to manifest:
1. CHRISTLIKENESS
My brother, realise that you are the head of that family just like Christ is the head of the church. Eph5:23 “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body”. Found your family on Prayer, Bible Study, Singing etc. Make sure you are present for the Family Altar as often as is possible. You are the pastor of the family so stop wasting your evenings chatting away or watching football when you should be “pastoring” at home. Don’t be a telephone husband. Be at home on time!
2. CLEAVE
Man of God, the Bible says in Gen.2:24 “Therefore shall a man LEAVE his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”. Stop spending a lot of time with your mother. Are you aware you are married? Many un-christian mothers would rather keep their sons close to them. This affects the marriage and it behoves you brother to leave and cleave. Do not demand that your wife cooks like your mother, talks like your mother...and do not compare her cooking with your mother’s. If you are always on phone talking to your mother and you do not even sms your wife in the day I say “grow up”!
3. COMMUNITY
Brother, who are your friends? How do they impact on your family? Are you the kind of person who can be called any time to go watch a match? To go for a party? To go for a this and that...? Meanwhile you leave your wife preparing for you a meal or middle of an outing? 1 Cor5:11 “But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such one do not even eat”. The bible says bad company corrupts good morals. Do not keep friendship with the world because they will slowly drift you from your family and get you into their manners.
4. CHARM
My friend, a woman needs AFFECTION. Learn this! Hug, kiss, re-assure, tell her you love her, bring flower, candy, gifts, remember her birthday, sms her in the day, appreciate her food, bring her a card, help her cook, do dishes,...etc small things big results. This is how Isaac saved his family: Gen.26:8 “And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife”.
5. CONVERSATION
Son of my mother, talk to her! It is said that on average, women speak upto 60k words a day while a man speaks 20k. In other words, when she comes home from work/business, she still has more to speak. So listen actively to her, show interest in her interests, though she may not show interest in your soccer match on tv. Sometimes she may sulk but it is still your duty to “deflate” the situation. Learn to say “thank you”, “I’m sorry” and “forgive me”. You will have a better home. Never use conversation as a form of punishment, ridicule, name calling, swearing or sarcasm. Be constructive and not destructive. Respect her feelings and opinions; correct her gently. Prov15:1“A soft answer turns away wrath(anger): but grievous words stir up anger.”
6. CASH CARE
Dear Sir, financial support is paramount to a woman. (To the singles reading this, women don’t eat faith-they eat its results, however, gold digging is evil. ) Following a career and doubling up as a home maker is not easy. So brother, work hard to earn some money. It is also essential that you assist her in managing her finances (I am talking to Christians; not pagans who hide what they earn from each other yet claim to be church people!). Whether she earns more than you do, the money is all family money, bring it to the table, tithe first then budget with the rest. Also, do remember that if your wife is not earning, she is spending time with the children and making your home, so respect that and treat her well. Learn to save, invest and give to God. Handle money in a godly way; 1Tim.6:10 “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”
7. CANDOUR (OPENNESS)
Child of God, be open to your wife always. Say where you are and what you are doing if you will be getting late. Let her know your fears and joy, for prayer and to celebrate you. Do not keep secrets: secret account, secret friends, secret businesses...all that cannot attract the blessings of God. Your wife MUST know where you are all the time. This is also good for prayer. Walk in the light. 1Jn.1:7 “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanses us from all sin”.
8. COMMITMENT TO FAMILY
Mister, be a good father, a wife needs a man who is committed to the family. Take time to have meals together, go out together, shop together, attend church together, play games together, read bed time stories to children together, help the children with home work together, do projects together, visit your daughter at school (notice I have said your daughter as many fathers leave that to the mother). Learn how and when to punish, learn how to handle anger and disappointment and learn how to interpret your “family rules”. Do not allow little foxes to spoil your marriage. Song-of-Songs 2:15 “Catch for us the foxes, The little foxes that spoil the vineyards; For our vineyards are in blossom”.
You need to come up with agreed family values (ie integrity, timeliness...etc) and post them on the fridge etc...you also need to have a strategic plan for the family with long term and short term goals.
9. CREATIVITY
Eeeeeish my brother, don’t be dull, a man must be creative! Make your home full of laughter, make children and family desire to come home. In fact, a must know all things pertaining to the home. You need to learn to change the bulbs, return fuses, connect dsqs, cables here, cables there, re-install the computer, repair the mower etc surely, you cannot pay someone to remove paper stuck in the printer! A woman needs a man who is creative in recreation, in dressing, etc. You also need to be creative in bedroom matters too, don’t just drop there like a sack of potatoes. Song-of-Songs 2:4 “He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love. His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me”.
10. CHURCH
Child of God, you must belong in a church. Heb10:25 “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching”. Be in ministry, bring up your children to love Sunday school. Walk, ride or drive your family to church. Sunday is not the day to oversleep. How come you are at work at 7am and cannot make it to church at 9am? Can’t you see it’s an evil spirit. Remember you are starting a generation and at the same time fighting generational curses. Prov.30:12 “There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness”- don’t bring up such a generation!
SAY Mmmmmm
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment