PHOTO | FILE NATION MEDIA GROUP
By ASUNTA WAGURA
Posted Wednesday, March 27 2013 at 02:00
Posted Wednesday, March 27 2013 at 02:00
I am sure that Eston* is not alone in his post-election domestic tribulations. To put it plainly, Eston needs a delegation of elders to go to his wife’s home and correct the damage he caused, which is directly related to the elections. While some are celebrating and others going to court, Eston is dealing with a different outcome altogether.
When I called Eston barely a week after the elections, I was livid. I wanted my money back, or a good explanation why he had not completed minor repair work I needed done urgently. His low tone from the other end told me that something was up, and I held myself back.
“Ma’am, this election messed me up and I don’t know what to do or where to start.”
“But the elections are over and we need to get back to work to put food on the table. We can’t keep on celebrating someone else’s payroll while ours is diminishing,” I told him.
He explained that during the campaigns, he and his wife had several arguments regarding who should be elected for what position. Eston insisted that his wife should vote for his party candidates here in Nairobi. As for him, he would go to the village, where he had registered, and do likewise.
Secret ballot
His wife replied that since she would be alone at the ballot booth, she is the only one who would know who to vote for. After all, it was a secret ballot. The conversation ended without agreement, but Eston had the last word. “Utaona ukichagua mwingine.”
Meaning that she would suffer dire consequences if she failed to vote for his favourite candidates. Do not ask me how he was to ensure this, but that was the last subject they discussed before he departed for the village the following day.
On the eve of the General Election, Eston was drinking in the village with his friends when he decided to call his wife and remind her who is boss. He inquired if she remembered what he told her a dozen times. With the confidence and the power of the bottle, he told me, he threatened her, but did not mean it.
“In case you won’t vote for my party and all the candidates I support, pack your clothes and leave. And wait until I return, you’ll know I don’t mince my words. I’ll drum sense into you because you’ve grown horns.”
He hang up the phone as his drinking buddies laughed boisterously, commenting that his wife now knew her place.
But surprise awaited Eston. After voting, when he tried to reach his wife, she did not answer his calls. She later went mteja. He wanted to apologise and tell her that he had been intoxicated and had not been serious, that he did not want her to leave.
No wife
When he returned to Nairobi with several goodies from the village, he was surprised not to find his children playing outside. What is more, the house was empty, save for his old clothes hanging loosely on the window, acting as curtains.
Eston’s wife had literally packed as she had been told, rather than face his wrath.
“Ma’am, the time you were calling me, I was searching for my wife and children. She left with everything, including her stepson, a child I’d had from another relationship.”
Eston said that he wanted to send a delegation of wazee to her parents to apologise — or petition, if you like — but he was not sure of her whereabouts.
“It’s very hard for me without her. This is my third day without a bath. I’ve not had a decent meal since she left. I just don’t know where to start if she doesn’t come back.
“All I want is her and my children to come back, and my life to go back to normal.”
As Eston sorrowfully ate his drunken words, I told him I wished him luck in tracing his wife, and that I could wait until he had sorted out his domestic issues.
I had no words of consolation. Initially, I wanted to laugh, but then I realised that I would only be adding insult to injury.
This is the diary of Asunta Wagura, a mother-of-three who tested HIV-positive 23 years ago. She is the executive director of the Kenya Network of Women with Aids (KENWA). Email: asuntawagura@hotmail.com
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