Sunday, March 18, 2012

Crazy, stupid and out of love



  SHARE BOOKMARKPRINTEMAILRATING
There are some things women do and say when angry that aren’t cool (excuse the pun)!
There are some things women do and say when angry that aren’t cool (excuse the pun)! 

Posted  Friday, March 16  2012 at  14:24
I saw a Blackberry phone hurled out of a car doing something like 70km/hr on the highway the other day.
It came out of the passenger window of the Toyota Allion in front of me, hit the tarmac and exploded into pieces before the cars following finished the job by running over whatever was left.
The car slowed down momentarily and as I overtook I briefly glanced at the occupants.
There was a visibly livid woman wagging her finger in the face of the driver – a man – who had the look of someone who had just been informed that the tasty morsel he had just eaten was actually a garden slug.
I wondered what warranted his phone being thrown out the window.
Had she read an SMS that started with “Darling…” (or worse, “Munchkin”) – an SMS she hadn’t written?
Or had the phone rang and the caller ID read “Peter Furniture” only for her to answer casually (since he’s driving) and find that the voice on the other end was that of a woman who obviously had never heard of a dovetail joint?
Perhaps her mother-in-law had called and said something demeaning to her. In any case, it’s amazing what a woman will do in a moment of anger.
Half the time her actions are impulsive and very irrational. Ruining an expensive phone that contains all your business contacts is just one of them.
Below are some things women do and say when angry that aren’t cool (excuse the pun)!
Pointing out your mother’s physical flaws
Fine. I agree that you can’t be angry and politically correct at the same time.
But dragging someone’s mother’s body into a fight is just immature, especially if a) the fight is not about her and b) her eyes are indeed crossed and squinty.
Making fun of Mr Weenie
It’s amazing how, in the beginning, the weenie can do no wrong. It is the perfect size and shape. It performs its duties with the utmost skill and dedication.

It is the King of all Weenies. But when the break up comes, the weenie is revealed to have been a fraud that belongs on the likes of Tom Thumb and not on a full-grown man.
Defacing the car’s bodywork
I heard of these apartment dwellers in a Nairobi ‘burb who woke up to a woman in aleso, wielding a pair of scissors and stabbing the tyres, scratching the paint and slicing the leather seats of one of their own’s car.
The car was a Jaguar and the owner – the man – remained indoors as the neighbours gasped in horror. The only silver lining in this story is that she didn’t torch it.
“I can do better than you, Tom.”
The worst relationships are those where the woman feels like she can do better. That she can get the high hanging fruits.
To have yourself compared to nameless, faceless men – and come up short – is an indescribable blow to the ego.
Hacking his email/Facebook and sending off messages
Waking up to find your Facebook profile page festooned with graphic pornographic pictures is not anyone’s cup of tea.This must be illegal, surely. There should be a rule against just how far a woman can go to make a point.
Hiring goons to scare you a bit
Two hoodlums once accosted a man in the parking lot of a bar. They roughed him up a bit, took away his wallet and warned him to stay away from a certain girl.
Three months later, he found his ID in the glove compartment of his woman’s car. The ID that was in the wallet that had been stolen.
Finding that wallet scared him more than the actual mugging. A woman who knows where to hire goons is a thug herself.
“Jimmy [her ex] would never do something so insensitive!”
I’m sorry, which Jimmy? Gorilla-with-a-drinking-problem Jimmy? The same Jimmy who cleaned out your account and took for the hills?
The one who sold your gas cylinder and spare wheel and nearly mortgaged your mother? Is that the same Jimmy we are talking about?
Send your feedback to satmag@ke.nationmedia.com

3 comments:

  1. I dо not κnοw whether it's just me or if everybody else encountering issues with your website. It appears as if some of the written text within your posts are running off the screen. Can somebody else please comment and let me know if this is happening to them too? This may be a issue with my browser because I've had this happеn befοrе.
    Thanks

    Also visіt my web page :: easy natural yeast infection treatment

    ReplyDelete
  2. I геаllу like youг blοg.
    . verу nice colors & theme. Dіd you make this website yourѕelf oг did you hire someone to do іt fοг уou?
    Plz reρly as Ι'm looking to design my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. cheers

    Take a look at my website - how to lose belly fat fast

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi thегe woulԁ you mind lеtting me know which ωeb hoѕt you're using? I've loаԁed уour
    blog in 3 different wеb broωsers and
    I must say thіs blog loads a lоt faster then mоst.
    Can yοu recommend a good web hosting provider at a honest price?
    Thanks, I aρprecіate it!

    mу рage natural breast augmentation

    ReplyDelete